Look, I'm trying to blog here??

Sigh. I am SO DARN MOODY THESE DAYS. 

Damn, who knows why. 

I solved Rubik's cube. 

I completed watching vampire knight (which had like, what? 13 episodes? FEED ME MORE)

Got addicted to romance-slash-tragic animes.. 

Continued with Vampire knight guilty which is not fully out.

I keep going to that website, checking for new episodes.. Since it just aired in japan, it hasn't even finished airing, I have to wait for 1 whole week for 1 episode.

Trying to pick up something else to do.. I started reading a book.

Keeping Faith... Very touching and addictive, but quite boring when they touch catholicism and judaism. Skipped the serious talking =)

Trying to find another anime to watch.. those ard 24 - 36 episodes.. 

Romance and comedy... Tragic love story.. feed me with animes and I'll lock myself in. 

I know, I'm desperate to poke my nose into virtual love stories.. especially animes, cuz just fantasizing about the perfect looks and the perfect kakhoi-ness is more than enough ^^

And the way the shows make me laugh and cry and gush and awe over it..

(cuz all the animes that I watch involves 1 girl and a few guys; if u get what i mean)

But the girls are always stupid in animes.. i mean the main char larh.. cute mar ><

Virtual stuff is so far better than reality. Reality sucks and I know it.

Darn straight. 

Wow.. din update for so long jors..

dono wat happened to feli n yang de blog.. cnt find jor f3

anyway.. kinda gloomy these few days.. dam ni mood do anything..

dono larh y

bt den hor

anson hor

he say hor

whole company hor

the whole company says im not a loyal person f3 

k to those ppl, ure probably right but stick ur nose to somebody else's business -.-

Emo alert. 

I dont know why im doing this. If you're in a foul mood please click the x at the top right hand corner of your screen.

I guess I shouldn't be emo-ing... most of y'all would probably think im doing this cuz I want attention.

Y'know what- maybe you're right. 

I should've just... I hate myself. 

Desperado, eh? I feel like a film star creating stupid rumours about herself for publicity. 

Desperate for attention. Pretense of not caring.

I'm not sad. I'm not happy.

I feel like crying. I don't wanna cry.

I want them to know that I'm fragile too.

I don't want them to say I'm weak.

I hate it when they insult me.

I like it when they actually notice me.

I hate it when they treat me as a guy.

I like the feeling of having so many friends.

So many, yet so few. 

I should be happy. I don't have relationship problems like the others.

I should appreciate my life. I can't emo like everyone else.

I should think about other stuff. I need more distractions.

I should feel proud because my parents think so highly of me.

I should do everything they want me to, and not do everything they don't.

I should listen to their advice, if I'm wrong, I have no one to blame but myself.

I should achieve to their expectations. I have no one to blame but myself. 

Scold me. Yell at me. Whack me. Do whatever you want. 

I disappointed them. 

Like what HE said, I'm useless.

I'm a bad person. I can't even take care of my sister.

I should not hate him. The truth always hurt.

But it didn't hurt me this bad before.

I am selfish.                                 I am dumb.                                              I am easily influenced.

I am emotional.       I am... SO NOT FINE. 

But then again, I have no one to blame but myself. 

Forget what I said. It doesn't matter. I don't really open the cbox now. 

What a chicken. Coward. I would have spit those words to myself earlier. 

I didn't dare. Living in the fear of disappointing people. 

I feel like a saint. I'm lying. I'm not a good person. 

HE would probably know. 

Don't ask me ANYTHING about this post.

I knew it was a right move to go to school on friday. =D

Hema brought this magazine.. A career magazine, for the people with creativity as their middle name. Okay, not for me -.- bout that was for visual and spatial art... I'm more interested in the other part of arts.. It needs high communication and linguistic skills, i guess i'm okay with that.

Mass Communication includes journalism, advertisment, broadcasting and public relations.

Journalism is, as all of you know, to inform, entertain, persuade and change people's attitudes and actions. Clearly, journalism is all about influencing people through your writing (which would be published in both print and electronic media). Broadcasting is almost the same as journalism, but broadcasting is presented in speech instead of writing. Or in this era's case, typing. xD

Public Relations. they're in charg of brochures, press releases, major events, EXHIBITIONS... which is really what i enjoy doing. I may not have the skills for that, but.... who cares? I'm gonna learn it anyway =p

Advertising is nice for me too.. Y'see, not those electronic advertising, because I'm not that creative. What I'm into is more of posters, newspaper and magazine ads, advertising campaingnsm et cetera. 

And it is as though I was destined to all of the above, they all fall under mass communication!! So mass comm here i come!! =)

Wrote another script today. Empty.

This story is inspired by one of Gurvina's many Hindi movies that was always ironic. Surely I had been copying, but I didn't like this story so much. Maybe I had little inspiration, or perhaps I was just not good enough to come up with some excitement in the story. I was supposed to be reading Biology today. My aunts came over for dinner and she asked me how was my application for the scholarship going on. I wanted to tell her that there are many more other people smarter than me, and I don't think I wanna study anyway. I wanted to write. My dad has been asking me to take Business and Marketing, a subject I detest with an outcome I desire. I spent my whole afternoon sleeping and writing a few more silly short stories and the script. I told Briggs and the rest that I will be done with it by tomorrow. Yes, I will hand it in to Pn. K and see what she does with it. 

I have been wondering for a long time now, I don't know what my career should be. I wanted to write since I was young, journalism was one of my dreams. But then again, do I have what it takes? I love writing, but that doesn't mean I'm good at it. That is why I should learn from other more experienced people. Pn. K suggested writing in to The Straits Times and see what happens. Maybe I should send in some of my older pieces to them, and we'll just see what happens. If I turn out to be a famous writer somehow, I'd like that =). 

Unfortunately these things won't come true unless I fully rely on God. Once I made up my mind to go with journalism, I abruptly stopped studying. The subjects I like the most- Bio and Chem holds no interest for me now. This is the time where I change my mind and go to a totally new direction. This is where the question arises. What if it doesn't work out? Shouldn't I just take writing as a hobby? I hope I could, but I couldn't resist writing and letting my imagination run free once I turn on the computer. I started dreaming weird things, great things to write in books, but I had no idea how to start. I end up staring at a blank Word Document the whole afternoon, attempting to start something that would not work out. Again, like today, I wasted 6 precious hours of my life, the time I could spend on studying Bio. I begin to get fearful, because if I have no interest in studying- what's going to happen? I don't know, for real. Thank God tomorrow is the last paper, I don't have to worry about it anymore. I used to look forward to the holidays to watch the korean series and the animes I have been dying to watch. I wanted to try gaming, too. But then when I started writing again, i.e Tribute To Her dedicated to the principal, I realised that nothing is better than sitting in front of the pc writing stuff and reading a good book in the afternoons. Call me a dumb nerd, I am what I am. I can't wait for tomorrow, really. I can't wait for Bio to finish, and I am not thrilled of my results. Surely I would slip, I don't know how disappointed my father will get. i never told him I wanted to write for a living. Maybe results day might just be the perfect timing to reveal it. Maybe then, something will happen. By the way, my sweet 16 is coming up, but my sis has been crying and ranting about how she should celebrate hers. I might have to cancel my sweet sixteen ='( zi was kind of looking forward to an excellent party, followed by a slumber party right after. Too bad it may not work out. Sweet sixteens are meant to be special, but maybe I will wait 2 more years and make it my elegant eighteen or something. I'm not even allowed to buy cake for my sweet sixteen -.- 

But I'm bored of cakes anyway. I don't really look forward to my birthday now, I'm actually looking forward to the 27th. Twilight!! 

I just came back from my aunt's house and somehow something made me open my blog. I went straight to the cbox, hesitating for a while before started reading it. I hate confrontations. Anyway, I really felt touched by what all of you said. Thanks, and I really agree with Felicia.. Blogging really did make me feel better. The last post was posted before I went to church, and my dad was shouting at me because I was not yet prepared. I felt really upset in the morning, but very very much better now. Thanks to all that were concerned, I really appreciate it. Love you guys (and girl) so much. Anyways, when I arrived church I was, as usual, greeted with enthusiastic friends I meet every Sunday. They can be considered as my childhood friends, we've been to plenty of camps together... Felt slightly better when I saw them, partly because I wanted to get away from my dad as soon as possible. He was complaining in the car about silly stuff... Something about me being delusional and always daydreaming. Is daydreaming illegal now? Sheesh. So I entered the worship hall and prayed, as usual. When I was praying I tried hard not to think of other stuff, and prayed really hard for God to comfort me. God obviously answered my prayer because the hymns were really comforting. I forgot what they were called, all I know is that it really comforted me.. The sermon helped me a teeny bit, actually. But the hymns and the responsive readings were what comforted me most. I forgot how the church really can comfort me. I felt happy when we left church to my aunt's house. My cousin came back from Labuan, so we went biking together.. Watched journey to the center of the earth in his really awesome home theatre. Literally. Kinda enjoyed myself. Especially with the food, because my dad and aunt are really good cooks. All in all, I felt that life has more meaning than to just emo like that. I should have realised that a long time ago. I haven't felt that inner peace in a long time already.

Im writing again.. Careful people.

I feel useless.. Really really useless. We had the jamuan pengawas yesterday, and I woke up at 7 to get prepared. I polished my belt and packed the stuff to bring there. Got dressed, a brown top and a foolishly flairy and puffy long yellow skirt. Went down to wait for ginny, felicia and hema. They will get dressed here, all looking pretty and amazing =) I feel lucky to have friends like them. If only I was like them. Sigh. I should have not posted this anyway. So we went off on Vanessa's car to school.. We appeared to be quite early, I guess. Snapped some pictures, I always feel good with them around =).. We had to check the list and sign at pour names when we have to get up on the bus. Checked and checked, my name wasn't there. As usual, the bad things will happen to me -.- Ginny had the same case but she was all so snazzy about it. She could just so easily not care about stuff. I wish I could do the same. I felt pretty upset because I paid before the deadline. Though I did not want to admit at the time, but it is so obvious that my carelessness was the culprit of this mess. I didn't submit the consent form because I was lazy to ask my dad to sign it. Besides the fact that I looked hideous in that stupid outfit, I was an outcast. That's two in a blow. It all sorted out in the end, thanks to ginny and her mogok =p.. Then it was eating time after the speeches from VIPs. I didn't really feel like eating because I don't want to walk around taking trays of food and lining up... Feels like some prisoners, only staying in some high classed jail. I feel useless because I can't even stay happy at this nice event. Khaiyoong always seems to realise that I'm not happy. I'm not sad, just not happy. I had to keep a smile pasted on my face the whole time to make sure I don't spoil the day. Sigh. But then again, I shouldn't have blogged this anyway. It hurts my friends more. After that it was BB time. We attended bible class late.. I sat next to joshua.. He's really a nice guy, I feel relieved because it was a genuine smile when I see him. He just seemed like the closest stranger I have met. He did not know what happens in my life, and he thinks that I'm his ever-happy jie. I'd like that =) I like people to think that I'm happy like, all the time. I was getting used to distractions now, just to avoid breaking down for some really really silly things. But sometimes I couldn't stand it and it is getting harder and harder now. Wish I knew why, but nothing would work in my brains right now. I feel useless. Why is it that nobody is tired but I feel like I just carried a few huge rocks up Mount Everest? I felt really really tired, especially after drill and physical training. It's been some time since we last properly drilled, but that's no excuse to forget how to do stuff, right? I totally forgot some steps. It's pretty embarassing because I shouldn't be making mistakes, right? Anyway, after that I had to get the consent forms prepared. Chasing the squad leaders around, asking for names and more names. More tired than a usual Saturday, though I don't know why. Really felt like crying becauseI'm so darn useless. But I can't bear to get attention now, I need a distraction. I went around giving out the forms that were supposed to be given out next week. Sir looked concerned again. Whenever I see his concerned look, I felt like crying even more. Again, a distraction. I asked my sister questions, tried to talk and chat with some people. Jes' party is tonight, but i honestly didn't feel like entertaining and smiling that night. I need more distractions. I talked to my family, didn't trun on the PC, just in case it might burn more holes in me. Sigh. But then again, I should have not blogged this anyway. Useless people do this. 

Tribute to Her

All sorts of people walk in and out of our lives. Childhood playmates eventually diverge into other paths as we walk the streets of our life. Some people that came by and walk with us leave footprints, reminding s of them, reminding us of what they have done to our life. As it was endlessly mentioned, every meeting has its end. 

Today, a person walked out of my life, leaving footprints behind, reminding me of the sweet memories and the lessons she has given me. Sure, she might not remember me, I might not have left footprints in her walk of life, but I am really glad I walked with her along that same path. For 4 years I have been walking with her, and I have taken her for granted, complaining about her every chance I have. It is only now that I realise and truly understand the phrase 'you don't know what you have till it's gone'. Throughout these 4 years, I never thought of what changes she made to my life, up till this morning, when she was giving her final speech. It is then that I realise I have been a very disrespectful student, a very disrespectful and unappreciative person. The changes she has made, the lessons she have taught never ceased to help me through walking the ups and downs of life. Yet I have done nothing to thank her. 

She made this school shine despite its dark and unclean history. She tries her very best to make this school one of the best schools around. She, who endlessly suffered the rants and disapprove of the students and teachers. She, who selflessly taught us patiently the lessons of life that were not fully regarded by most of us. She, who faithfully paves our pathway to success. Yes, it is her that made all these changes. Truly from the bottom of my heart I thank her for being there to help all of us. Without her, fellow Perimbun students may be studying in the school of juvenille acts. All that she has done from the past will now be brought to the future, to remind us of her and to help us create a better tomorrow.

Now that I think of it, all I could ever do was regret, because all I ever did was receive. Living in the fear of her forgetting us, because we have not given her anything. Thank you, thank you from the bottom of my heart to her. These words have become a habit now, and these words are among the many words that she have taught us. I'm sorry, truly I am sorry. I'm even sorry that these words are coming out this late. Sorry that I have not thanked you enough. Truly you have been the candle that sacrifices itself to shine the ray of hope for us. 

Fair enough, God has rewarded her with a promotion she deserved. All the tragedies that she went through with all of us has brought her to this forked road. This road where she leaves to her own seperate way, leaving footprints for others as well as keeping some from them as well. It is now where she leaves us with the lessons and the drops of sweat and goes on with her life. Walking out, just like how every meeting ends. It is the time where we must move on and walk ahead, allowing memories to seep in from the subconscious mind time and time again. 

With this, I thank the person that has made changes in my life, Pn. Hjh. Jamelah bt. Haji Mansor, Principal of SMK Perimbun. I dedicate this to her, along with wishes for health and happiness.

Thank You.

veiled in uncertainty

Be it a veil or a mask,

I keep myself protected,

As I have been in agony, 

For its' utter disregard.

Be it from stangers or from friends, 

I keep myself protected,

So that no one can harm me, 

Nor break the healing soul within.

Be it for fear or for uncertainty,

I keep myself protected, 

From the piercing darts of the tongue,

That stabs deep into me heartlessly.

Be it because of history or shared stories,

I keep myself protected,

That the little voices in the wind,

May not force open the stream of tears.

Be it setting myself free,

or locking myself away,

From the tranquils of life,

and the grieving of the wound.

Be it at the past or the present,

I keep myself protected,

For I lost hope in the world,

For kindness has faded.

Now I slowly let my veil go,

And slowly open the doors,

Letting bits and pieces in,

To heal the shattered heart.

Announcement?

People, my latest link.

Yes, I changed links, i know i know... BUt I have a reason... The reason you are here reading this is because I have given you my link. And if anyone forgets, this blog is for you guys to read only... Don't link to your own blogs please.

If you have noticed, my posts have nothing to do with how i feel about whoever except for some posts posted during one of my many emo seasons. I have thought about this for some time, and i decide that I can't just keep it inside anymore. I want at least someone to know how i feel, but nobody would want to hear me ranting and complaining, right? So maybe i should just blog how i feel and those people that wants to care can read =)

I totally understand that sometimes other people have their own problems, and sometimes if i tell them mine, it does not help them at all. My problems would make thiers more difficult to handle. Also, if you had a friend that has problems and came to you, you wouldn't have the heart to tell them you have more burden on your shoulders, right? 

Sometimes people may compare their own problems with mine, but that does not help at all. Yes I am complaining, but if i think about it, haven't I done the same? Did I not compare my own problems with others? That's why now i prefer to blog them all out instead of telling others. If they compare, I will not feel better, instead it will be me comforting them instead of otherwise. I don't blame them, it's just that sometimes they can't control and they don't realise that they are comparing. I did the same to some of my friends too. So to those that I did not comfort when you came to me, so sorry. And since this blog is for close friends only, I'm so sorry felicia. I'm sorry hanjon, cheeming and others that I did not realise. I feel really really bad. 

Please do not visit this blog if you have alot of problems... I am not being sarcastic. It's just that.. I'm tired of hiding and pretending to be 'happy'. So in this blog i will spill everything. Names, what they did- everything. I trust you guys, that's why I'm telling. 

Last but not least, I welcome you guys to this blog, and feel free to tell me if I offended any of you. Love you guys lots and lots =)

Shuo Hao De Xing Fu Ne?

ni de hui hua ling la zhe
你的绘画凌乱着
Your reply is still pulling me
zai zhe ge shi ke
在这个时刻
At this moment
wo xiang qi fen quan pang de bai ge
我想起喷泉旁的白鸽
I think of the doves by the waterfront
tian mi san luo le
甜蜜散乱了
The sweetness scattered
qing xu mo ming de la che
情绪莫名的拉扯
My feelings are still holding on
wo hai ai ni ne
我还爱你呢
I still love you
ban ni duan duan xu xu chang zhe ge
伴你断断续续唱着歌
And yet you continue singing the song
jia zhuang mei shi le
假装没事了
Pretending everything is all right


shi jian guo le, zhou le
时间过了走了
Time has passed and gone
ai qing mian li xuan zhe
爱情面临选择
Love has become a choice
ni leng le, juan le, wo ku le
你冷了倦了我哭了
You're colder, changed, and I cried
yi kai shi de bu kuai le
一开始的不快乐
The start of unhappiness
ni yong ka pian shi xie zhe
你用卡片拭写着
You wrote it on a card
you xie ai zhi gei dao zhe, zhen de dong le
有些爱只给到这真的懂了
Some romances only gives this much, I really understand now


zen me le, ni lei le, shuo hao de xing fu ne?
怎麽了 你累了 说好的 幸福呢
What happened, you're tired, where is our promised happiness
wo dong le, bu shuo le, ai tan le, meng yuan le
我懂了 不说了 爱淡了 梦远了
I understand, I'm not speaking anymore, love has become bland, dreams stretched far
kai xin yu bu kai xin yi, yi xu shuo zhe, ni zai bu she
开心与不开心 一一叙说着 你
Being happy or not, narrating them one after another, you cant bear it
na xie ai guo de gan jue, dou tai shen ke, wo dou hai ji de
那些爱过的感觉都太深刻 我都还记得
Those past feelings of having loved, so profound, i still remember
ni bu deng le, shuo hao de xing fu ne?
你不等了 说好的 幸福呢?
you stopped waiting, where is our promised happiness?
wo cuo le, lei gan le, fang shou le, hou hui le
我错了 泪干了 放手了 后悔了
I was wrong, my tears have dried, i've let go, i've regretted
zhi shi hui yi de yin yue he hai xuan zhuan zhe, yao zen me ting ne?
只是回忆的音乐盒还旋转着 要怎么停呢?
But the music box of memories is still playing, how do I stop that?

Kewl...

....So i was briefly checking through emails when i saw this one... it's worth reading for a laugh, but i'm too lazy to forward it.

So i figured i'd blog it, so tht i can at least share some gags with you guys out there =)

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS
Smart man + smart woman = romance
Smart man + dumb woman = affair
Dumb man + smart woman = marriage
Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy

OFFICE ARITHMETIC
Smart boss + smart employee = profit
Smart boss + dumb employee = production
Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion
Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime


SHOPPING MATH
A man will pay $20 for a $10 item he needs. A woman will pay $10 for a $20 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS
A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.
A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.
A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.
A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS
To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.
To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY
Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.
A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE
A woman has the last word in any argument.
Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.


HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED
Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, 'You're next.' They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

Sen No Yoru Wo Koete

I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared,
even if I’m hurtI can say “I love you” to the person who I love

Do you love me? Or not love me?
As for things like that, it’s already fine either way
No matter how I wish
There are many unchangeable things in this world, right?
That’s right, and because only the fact of my loving you
Is the truth unchangeable by anyone

I want to overcome the thousands of nights and tell it to you
There’s something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetitionI found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
It’s scary to turn my feelings into words
But I can say “I love you” to the person who I love


In this broad world,
I can’t express the joy of encountering you with words
So we smile, sing about the vividly passing autumn in do-re-mi
Turn our backs on winter, wait for the sunlight streaming through trees in spring
And become reborn anew, so that we can protect someone

On the path we came from and our destination,
when we looked back, I’d always have timid eyes
I want to face you, but I can’t be honest
I, who repeated days of not being able to straightforwardly love my partner
And hated being alone on that day
Seemed to love people while unwounded

I’ll overcome the thousands of nights and go meet you now
There is something that I must tell you
I want to be loved, but you don’t seem to love me
I wander within that repetition
I found one answer; that even if I’m scared
Even if I’m hurt, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love
Even if those thoughts aren’t fulfilled, I can say “I love you” to the person who I love

Twilight Malaysia 2008

Release Date: 27th November 2008

Language: English

Rating: U

Genre: Romance, Horror, Action

Okay im gonna scream now.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I LOVE TWILIGHT!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!1 WAAAAHAHHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!

Kay I'm done. Phew, that was good.

Dono hu go say twilight banned in malaysia.. den i planned to go watch it in singapore.. But... Malaysia airs it sooner than Singapore.. tee hee. I am SOOOOO watching it. Tee hee.

2008 Record!!!

So so so... what's the big event? I asked my dad as I walked downstairs; it was hard to resist asking when I found out he brought crabs home. My mum replied in a series of laugh-and-talk-at-the-same-time words "You're cooking dinner tonight, lynn". I laughed at her sarcasm, thinking that she can't be serious. Well, it's just too bad she was. So a little something happened before this bizzare 'lynn's-cooking-tonight-lets-run-away-to-africa' event. I told my dad "I CAN DO ANYTHING I SET MY MIND TO, DAD!!" And so this happened. Can't believe he challenged me to this. Sigh. Ah well. So i went upstairs and tried to make them forget about what happened, perhaps my dad would cook and I would just go, "oh, man.. and when you brought crabs, too. Guess this just isn't the perfect day, huh?"



Nah, my parents don't get a smart-whiz kid like me from nothing. Nope, they were smart whiz kids too. The type that won't stay home after school, so i heard. Anyway, they yelled at me from downstairs and deliberately forced me into purgatory. Yep, purgatory. The only thing missing my dad saying "welcome, to HELL." Y'know, they did that in Rattatouille.



Moving on, so I 'cleaned' those crabs.. ALIVE. i TOLD you cooking isn't very nice. You HAVE to kill stuff. When I broke that shell off, the legs were still moving!! It was like its dying-ish when I scrubbed it clean with that ugly scrub-like thing. After cleaning come chopping, and during chopping comes the screaming and the ' i-think-its-dangerous 's.



Do not try cooking at home. It is hazardous for children under 21 years of age.



You have to admit that I make sense, cooking involves sharp objects, fire, and a mindset to KILL THE PREY. Yeah, it is pretty dangerous. Not to mention the frying part.. Those little oil stuff jumps. Chemical reaction, my dad calls it. It's how oil reacts with water when there's heat. LIKE I WILL BELIEVE THAT. Hardy-har-har, im so sure it's the crab taking vengeance on me for cooking it alive. So much for eating fresh stuff. After chopping, comes frying the ginger and the salt and pepper. Hey, it rhymes! *snaps out of it* So my dad said you have to wait till the burnt smell comes out. Only then can you take the 'prey' - that's what I call it- to the serving platter. So kay, I just stood there and waited. And waited. And waited. And VOILA! The prey that was cruelly scrubbed, chopped and put to boiling oil is ready to be served!







...and heres how it looks like close-up..






Yep, I am pretty awesome in this evil im-gonna-kill-you stuff. So so so... It DOES taste great!! Here's some of the quoted compliments of my fellow peeps.

Dad - Hmm.. quite good, but there's STILL room for improvement.. *evil smile*

Mum - Mm.

Sis - yerrr i wan chilli crab!!!! yorr yerr yeeee ><

gramma - ek the crab so little meat hor (er, what does that gotta do with anything? moving on)

kakak - aiyo, so salty.. too many salt. (f3)

Ah well... I guess it IS pretty much an improvement.. To those smirking, I DID STEP INTO THE KITCHEN SO CUT IT.

Hm... just now went connaught McD to yamcha.. just came back then started blogging larh.. my dad was scolding me on the phone.. but when i came back he just asked me to look at the time.. And I was like, 11.50... Then he gave me the 'silence treatment'.. Highly recommended when you have no mood to shout, scream or do any possible banging or hitting of furniture. Provides 100% result of making the person feel guilty thus never to repeat the mistake again. ITSUMADEMO!!

Sigh, so im on this silence treatment.. and i am very very very VERY sure i will NOT, i repeat- i WILL NOT go out without my parents anymore. Nope, nothing can MAKE me. Ah well.. I learnt a new word today.. from jess.. hehehehehehe *evil laugh*

ANSON IS A STUPID NOOBSHYT FEEDER.

tee-hee.

PeeDee trip =)

Okay.. so i went to pd on wednesday to thursday larh.. Feli supposed to folo geh -.- ask her lar y din come T.T

Anyway.. wasted larh feli din come.. we cldve had so much fun tgt!!
1st when i reached ther it was like, around 12? We stopped by seremban to have lunch-slash-breakfast.. Ate that beef sumting mee. everyone say dam nice. it sucks like.. ugh. So so.. we went to gramma's house to 'check-in'.. hehe usual larh.. My cousin din come T.T left me n sis. Life cant be better. Then then then.. we went to the beach at around 4 i guess.. cuz it was sunnny and dad wanted to 'rest'..by watching discovery channel? Right. Kay soat 4.. we went to the avillion place.. its a resort-ish place larh... my dad's frn came down so we went to snoop around 0.o Manatau rong place -.- it's selesa resort or sthg. right next to avillion. So.. we went in.. before that we went billion to get some snacks larh.. i got shandy xDDD So at the beach.. shldve been walking n chatting with felicia.. nvm -.- so i went with sis.. had bytes.. saw alot of ugly guys.. haha no fun larh dun hav 'ang mo'.. Then sis wanted to go swim.. the pool like all got sand 1.. coz ppl go beach din wash den terus jump in -.- so dirty. Lols so i din go =p.. My sis swim alone. Den me n mum lazed at the beach chairs.. With 24 cans of beer right next to me -.- cuz.. well my dad's frn ask him to tolong buy -.- wan me to walk up to tht 3rd floor room with 24 cans of beer -.- ridiculous. I waited by the pool. People were staring. Like, that whoa-weird-girl kinda stare.. I cant be bothered. hehe. Anyway, after that we found out that we can rent bicycles!! So nice larh.. got double bike ^^.. So at 1st me n sis wanna ride tgt geh.. but.. so hard to balance.. so hard to paddle cuz her leg is always at the ground -.- so me n dad had a round.. den me n mum.. hahahahahaha mum was like, you don make me gan jeong! so both of us were screaming all the way around the biking path. LOL. i love holidays. =) Den after tht me n sis went biking tgt lorh.. wah so tiring -.- YET FUN. Then we had dinner with my dad's frn and his really really really really really big family.. lols. like, really big. They took 3 cars. Anyway, so we arrived at the eating place at aroud 8 larh.. I was kinda full cuz i had bytes, shandy, and alot of other junk. so i wasnt tht hungry larh.. Then hor.. we ordered.. and the food came at 9.15 -.- we waited for 1 hr and 15 minutes weyh! And the best part is; The whole restaurant had soo many ppl and not 1 table was served -.- i was kinda angry u noe -.- actually not angry larh. annoyed. den the next day.. i slept till about 12.. then had breakfast-slash-lunch AGAIN. my gramma cooked my fav dish (which would not be mentioned) xDDD my gramma luv me dam much ler =) so after that i forgot what i did.. then we went home after dinner. hehehee.

So So So.. today.. saturday =) BB day.. one of my fav days.. another one of my fav days is called a holi-day. nice larh..lols. anyway.. i woke up at like, 9 to find my parents out dating again -.- ah well. so i wanted to sleep longer geh.. den my maid and paternal gramma was making noise -.- asking me to go out hav breakfast with my cousin. So i got dressed and brushed my teeth really really really really really really really fast.. then then tehn.. i forgot what i wanna type -.-

Oh yeah... then we went to eat lor.. i was still half concious bee-tee-double-eww. so my gramma was like, lyn u wanna eat dimsum hor? den my cuzzin was like, ooh, lynn wanna eat dimsum, lets go! den i was like, huh? no i dowan dimsum.. den they were like, ok lah we go eat dimsum lah. WTH. then i was like, i dowan larh. then the whole car was like, huh? huh? i tot u said u wanted to hav dimsum? den it was my turn. huh? wats dimsum.? LOL after tht series of confusion i jz said i wana eat mee -.- so we went to have mee. then my cousin was like, u got BB again arh today? den i was like, yea.. y? then he was like i wanted to bring you cousins out for a movie.. Hmm. I dam jarang go out with this cousin larh.. actually not this cousin in particular.. i rarely go out with cousins. hehe wadever larh. So we went leisure mall after breakfast.. and and and.. i saw sir yap. lols. hahaha.. then hor hor hor.. errr.. then what ar? Right so we went home after buying sthg.. so.. i went BB, as usual.. for band.. bla bla.. i brought home the clarinet =) so hepi larh. lols. O~kayy.. weird. Then we had instrument class.. Mel taught chords.. haha so funny larh he. Not the funny-funny, but the weird kinda funny. Dang, i hope he doesnt read this =p Then we had.. physical training!! i didnt have lunch ler.. and i was so hungry -.- Then i told jes i hungry lar.. then anson said there was phys training and GOH practice. n i was like, so? n he was like, jz trying to make u feel worse. Right. Another weird and confusing session. =p So then we had phys training.. the chin up i did tak sah T.T.. other thn tht phys training quite nice larh.. the gals changed within the time given.. thats a record! =D Then after BB we came bak.. so tired larh.. then had dinner with parents.. then sudd say wanna go mines -- den sudd feli sms me ask me go mcD.. den suddenl yang call go yam cha. O-kayy another weird and confusing session.. then i wen tmines with family.. sthg happened.. dun wanna talk about it -.- then my dad stopped by McD.. when he made tht turn i was like, whoa he's really coming in! haha.. so i saw jian and the rest larh.. jess was ther.. all sitting down n chatting.. den when i came jes was like, babe i luv u so much! lols. haha she's so cute larh. n so short =p especially when im wearing those heels. ESPECIALLY WHEN IM STANDING NEXT TO HER. hehe im so evil. i know. muahahah.. then went bak at 11.30.. i told my dad i'll come bak at 11.. he didnt say anything wen i came bak. another weird thing. i love weirdy weird days.. =) Then came home and blogged.. i feel like i dun socialise nowadays.. outcast T.T lols. weird. haha.

Forever

I haven't been updating my blog since... since.. like, forever, if i am exaggerating... I've been thinking alot the past few days, especially after all i heard... from the various sources of mine, I came to realise that society is not as friendly as you think it is. Nope, at least, not to me. Then i began to think again.. Why is it that someone gets so... LIKEABLE in like, a fraction of a second while I thrive to not be hated in my numbered days. Y'see, the result of my sessions of self-UNhelp; I have stinking attitude, stinking character, and stinking sense of style. Yep, and guess what? There's more. Unfriendly, stuck-up, being proud when theres nothing to be proud of, having too much confidence, c'mon add 'em in.. I know you want to. I'm downright mean? Rude? Okay, I can accept that.. IF YOU SAID IT TO MY FACE. If you think something is wrong, please, SPIT IT OUT. Why bother telling everyone else about what you think about someone else, why not telling it straight to his/her face? scared? Well, I've been thinking.. would you rather have someone think you're dangerous after all the back-talking about someone else and lose their trust in you, or having someone thank you because you've been a true friend, telling them what was happening? Because frankly, i didn't think I had anything wrong till I was told. Most people are like that. Would you know you blink alot if people hadn't told you that? NO. In fact, you wouldn't even realise. Up till the point when someone comes up to you and says, "hey you blink alot". THEN you'd realise. I got a point? Defend yourself. Prove you know more. I prefer that. Tell me I'm wrong. If I'm wrong, I wouldn't know, because I only have my own opinion. if you're wrong, you wouldn't know, because you only have your own opinion. Dig my point? Also concludes to: you don't know something is wrong until people tell you. Why did you think camps and major showcases from companies give out feedback forms and request for you to complain about them? The reason I'm blogging this? Well, a blog IS an online diary that you let certain people read, right? and dearly beloved readers, This message-slash-blog post isn't referring to a certain person, it's just in general. PLEASE don't be offended, I can't stand people hating me. If you think soething is wrong, please, please tell me. I'd thank you. Seriously. Im the type of slow-brainers that dont get anything that is indirect.. so don't expect to tell me in a flowery-indirect manner kind of way, because I won't get it.
Kay, I'm glad I voiced this out- hopefully... just by the slightest chance I'd feel better. And I admit, I have been back-talking at certain people I dislike. But not anymore. I prefer to bang it straight. Reason? Hopefully they'd change, (not to say that I dont have to) for the best. Implication? "yeah, I think there's something wrong with me too". *walks away* "That freak is so mean, she's just trying to get at me cuz she's jealous!" Or so i heard.

BNTS 2008 xD

So peeps, on Saturday me, felicia and cheng fong went to Methodist Primary School (MPS) for the BNTS this year... It's an all-English training this time so the staff seargants said it wil be tougher because their expectations are somewhat higher 0.o...

So on day 1, we moved to the school at 8.30.. Registration is at 9... so on 8.45 I wanted to register because the officers were all-set and ready to go, but nobody registered.. so I asked staff sgt lorh.. den he said its up to u larh. take your own initiative. if u think its right, its right. I was blurred a moment there. so deep. LOL. anyways so i was like, but nobody register oso.. den sc said U BE THE 1ST 1 LORH.. lols. so me, cf and feli went towards registrar and greeted a mdm.. I said good afternoon -.- feli followed coz 'influenced' xD kay.. so we registered, got our books, got our schedule and tee.. so we started making friends and everthing... the girls frm 2nd subang so cute >.< then after tht.. we hav to run a few laps.. and another few laps.. and another few laps.. and another few laps.. lols. day 1 is like, all blurred for me larh.. its like, the sir jz stood there n din do anything.. he din even tell us we hav to plan for pening ceremony.. haiz.. out of my expectations.. cuz opening ceremony marh.. shldnt it be like, a senior-nco thing? lol. for today i dunoo la what happened.. im so blurred.. i only like the dinner part.. sir say good job =).. but then the most most memorable thing for today? sir joe and his drama-quality-voice-projection. damn. pn kamales shldve been there. haha.


Day 2... results of not covering face and body during sleep- mosquito swarming.

day 2 is like, my favourtie day.. coz mostly class-based.. u noe, the classes were like heaven and non-classroom learning is like hell -.- so.. the classes were communication, character and presentation... all my favourite topics xD.. then today went to church oso.. the church so cold larh.. then sumore got tht annoying plasme guy behind -.- i am so gonna remember jm -.-
for today i learnt tht for everything that i dont know, i must ask, malu bertanya sesat jalan.. but in bnt.. its TAKUT instead of malu. also, i learnt what builds trust and good relationship..
also he taught the boys a lesson.. he was like, it is not nice to embarass someone for the sake of a joke. and the way he said 'its not funny' shows like he's angry.. then he added 'especially to embarass girls. where is your respect?' whoa. deep. anyway.. he also taught us how to be a good listener.. he was like, girls always tell their problems to guys.. but THAT DOESNT MEAN THAT THEY ARE ASKING YOU FOR ADVICE. i wanna jz stand up n clap hands man.. that is so true. the guys don rly listen properly n den start telling us what to do before we ask. its okay to offer hep, but not jz bang it at ur face rite -.- anyway above all bnts days this is my favourite.. then we played a game of teamwork during drill.. so nice larh. hard to explain. more info pls find me xP..
then.. sketch time.. hehe.. before tht we shifted dorm.. and the girls did it in record-breaking time.. we moved everything in under 5 minutes.. =p then MISTAKE. we forgot to ask which dorm -.-.. so the girls were standing up for their rights n de mdm jz say ok lorh. then the guys ha to re-shift.. so.. sketch time.. haha my group sketch dam out of wht i expected man.. sean ng was like, ROFLMAO soooo cute hahahahahahahaha xDDDD then felicia was in another group larh.. she played batman.. haha she forgot she was batman. LOL xD so cute larh her pose xP

On the third day.. assesment day.. 80% of my answers were brain-based.. which is wht i like to label as; nonsense. dun care larh.. but i was really shocked at the togetherness of the 2nd subang coy.. they always always remember to pray b4 doin sthg.. at leastm thts wht my group did.. they were like, you guys wanna pray before we start? so we prayed together b4 the sketch and b4 the assesment.. I liked it; shows togetherness.. its like we're all one big family =) then we had closing cereony.. all 3 of us testified ^^

so conclusion is.. i really learnt alot alot alot; but for me, the most important thing i got from tis camp is not learnt in class.. its the teamwork we need to give each other.. when we know something is wrong, dont forget to tell the others. one guy makes a mistake, all of us will get it. why? because we know clearly that it was wrong and yet we did not tell. That is the importance of teamwork, to care for others and all of us to do our parts together as one, big, family =)

lastly, BB ROCKS! =)

Who0pee~

WORLD MARCHING BAND COMPETITION ROXXX!!!! xD

kay, so on friday.. after tht stupid acc tution i went home for dinner larh. den hor den hor den hor my parents asked me to get dressed to watch the street parade competition.. i didnt wanna go.. i wanteed to stay home and socialise with my bed. ah well we turned out to go cuz of OBLIGATION -.- bt im so glad i went larh =)

we went to miharja to take the lrt to kl.. the dataran merdeka there.. got bleachers and all.. Then my mum was looking for toilet =.=... bt tht time havent start larh, so nvm.. so we went went larh.. den me n my dad go walking while my mum n sis go do biznez =p we walk till we bump to the preparation area 0.o we bumped to this 3 girls.. or boys.. i dunnoe.. bt their uniform khakoi man.. as in yeng.. as in cool =p... so we were chatting with the,.. they're frm terengganu chung hwa wei sim larh... according to my kemaman friends chung hua wei sim is a sucky schl bt dam kiasu 0.o... c c no arh.. their band pretty good.. national champs 3 times in a row =p

anyway so after we watched i was like, soooo jealous of them... so we went home thru train again.. then when reach home about 1? then chatted till abt 2am gwa.. cnt rmb.. den tmrw bb day ^^

cm dam em song me the whole fri nite n saturday lorh.. hehe coz i tak ajak dia.. i oso dun wanna go de larh.. hanjon sumore said tak chun 1... turns out sangat chun.. gud thing i went lor wey.


k s0 on saturday, turns out tht richard went oso !! haha.. so i was like, talking about the street parade.. and cheeming em song.. den after dismiss i heard ric josh nic n jian goin watch again o tht nite. sooo.. I MAI FOLO LORH ^^ coz i so obsessed wat..
k so went home, asked my dad.. den my dad say if gt transp den can lorh.. so off we go ^^ at 1st gt transp problem geh.. bt den it turned out fine in the end larh. hehe so got dressed n got into unc steven's car.. den fetch cm frm leisure.. then we were pretty late alrdy larh.. coz starts at 7.30 bt go out of hse 8.15 -.-... so i gan jiong abit larh.. den ric say they wanna go dinner 1st =.=..

THANK GOD unc steven rela drop us off at stadium b4 they went 4 dinner ^^.. so me n cm walked to the ticket booth n bought tickets lorh.. den we got open terrace tickets.. i luv tickets=p so we watched.. all was impressive.. ESPECIALLY THT DENMARK DRUM MAJOR =P coz she wearing skirt.. their uniform larh.. den she go flip the band major around her leg.. her leg was like, 90 degrees.. me n cm were like, laughing sooo much.. hahahahahaha

den got one drum major.. from forgot wher.. throw band major 6-7 floors high man!!! It was like, above the grandstand roof 0.o impressive.

holland biking band.. friday it was impressive cuz they ride bicycle larh.. bt den its kinda boring lorh.. coz no formation =p anyway.. the final part the women took off their clocks and clapped with them ^^ den while blowing instruments suddenly a lady and a man started dancing in the middle... so nice lar =) talk about romance. hehe

sooooo i got sleepy when sarawak came in with their flowers and magnets? dono larh.. funny larh their uniform.. like clown jumpsuit xP anyway i was getting sleepy bt i tot wasted larh if i fall asleep.. so i ajak cm keng gai lorh.. actually we've been talking non stop commenting bout the bands and everything larh, but we chged topic to.. samsi. xDDD

k.. so i left my fon in ric's car u noe =.= my dad's been trying to call for like, a kazillion times LOL. n den tht josh ng scared to ans the fon -.- perfect larh. a worried dad and a scared-of-dads teenager. combo. =p

kayy.. so now we have an angry dad and a confused guy. hahahaha so funny larh.. bt my dad got angry tho -gulp- coz i came bak at 12 sthg oso.. lol.. 1st time lerh goin out alone n coming bak at tht hour.. haha with guys sumore.. i oso surprised y my dad din overreact. haha.

=) August Resolutions

W0ots, 1st day of August!!! Everyday is a new day.. =) gonna control my mood and habits from now on, gonna start doing homeworks, gonna appreciate what others are doing for me.. that's my new-month resolution!! im gonna have one every month xDD

Okay, lets start with results.. hmm~ sucky results.

Moral, got 42.. hahaha
Chem, 40.. ngam ngam pass.. sigh~ pn sharifah was so disappointed T________________T
Bio, 66 oni.haiz din study photosynthesis.

Add maths ave to retake, dunno shld i be happy or sad, sigh~ tht paper story really spreaded so much in school.. now the whole frm 4 thinks tht 4 Beta students are cheaters and egoists.. Just because of a group of irresponsible people.. so pissed at them.

I was changing back to my uniform during recess, and i overheard the other class students talking bad about our class.. It's so sad that this is happening.. and poor Mr.Remi is taking all the blame. I bet those idiots didnt apologise to Mr. Remi. And he's actually goos enough to take the blame....

He'd be singing; You can put the blame on me, u can put the blame on me, even though the blame's on you, you can put the blame on me. xD



Moving on,
Why did i get such ugly unseemly results? cuz i din study -.- tat hj say he din study bt chem can get A.. PELUH LOR. hahaha.. good news- I PASSED PHYSICS!!!! cant believe it, but i did =p
I was like, almost crying when he asked me to take te paper.. Then sir zap fan ask me i got go tution onot.. DUH, NO. do i look like sum1 hu'd actually put an effort into trying to ace physics? are u stupid, or just a little slow?? LOL i didnt direct this question to anyone.. its words from a song =)

So.. 4 beta is going to FRIM next wednesday, so we can skip watikah xDDDD
Tmrw is another BB day.. yayy can wear mufti ^^ i dun like inspection so long de larh
hahaha... Kayy, so.. that's just about it larh.. Glad felicia liked her present.. i stole my mums perfume to spray on it =) and to hj.. eppi belated birthday =)