Tuning into : You Found Me - The Fray
C.O.W. : Confessions of a (not broken) scarred heart.
*so the drama*
So the conclusion is; a pointless drama.
Takes one word to bring one down, takes one word to make one's day.
Thanks, to those that texted me in the morning, noon, and night-
asking me if I'm alright, just caring about me. =)
Love y'all to bits x)
..and to certain selfish humans, I have feelings too.
Respect it please =)
Don't take my A.D.D. for granted because it gets on my nerves.
A nice "sorry" would have made my life easier. =)
Certain times I would have just made a scene and start yelling, crying and telling how much burden I'm carrying, telling the world about my now shattering life- but I chose not to, because life is hard- but complaining does not make anything easier.
Certain times I really wanted to break down, be irresponsible and get sick. But I don't want their pity, I just want their heart and sincerity. It seems really fake, and YES, I am a hypocrite. The way I act around people was never how I felt. YES, I used to cover it up and just paste that smiling face, laughing as loud and as hard as I could- it feels different. But sometimes, when you act like someone else too much, that someone else might actually end up to be you. Which, in this case didn't sound bad at all- being that "happy-go-lucky-everybody-loves-me" girl. People tend to treat you that way when they start to know you too well. As more time passes, they think that she doesn't care and they stopped caring about her feelings. I should have continued doing this, then everybody would have thought I was strong, independant and tough. But I'm too bloody upset to care anymore.
And yeah, I don't care about the feelings of others either, right?
You wanna just say,
"HEY WHY DON'T YOU JUST LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND TELL YOURSELF THAT?"
or,
"I dare you to say that you never did that to anyone else before!"
or,
"Hey I'm kidding- what are you, ruining my name because of one bloody joke? you call yourself a friend?"
or,
"Dude. Chillax- my life is worse, so you better get contented."
WHATEVER. Call me mentally deranged, desperate, depressed, pitiful-
I don't bloody care.
True, true.. hard to believe that these words are coming out now.
IAMHARDCOREBABYYHHH!
Till then,
no use apologising because words can never describe how you made me feel.
Thank you for showing me how you can make someone hate another,
or think badly of another-
by a single sentence.
Yep, you're a great friend, and I really will remember you.
Funny how normal friends can get me so happy.
Funny how my best- really best friends stood by me through all the other hard times; and I hadn't appreciated them enough. They're the people that I hug and smile just as I see them. We might argue, but we'd never stand being mad at each other for more than a day. =)
Funny how certain "true" friends can get me so upset.
I guess you can't really predict what happens next.
I can just wait happily for SPM to be over with.