How am I supposed to say this? Everyone i kknow that's reading my blog won't even talk to me. everytime we talk we get into a fight. Why? Is being emo illegal? just cuz u dont like it doesnt mean everyone cant do it. u don like ppl emo den u jz don tak to me larh, better than shouting at me n saying im despo rite?? idiot. i emo let me emo lah, ur prob izit?? thank God today whole day i went for sketch, if not i'd burst to tears there and then. u think im playing izit? dont worry im not u. and the next time u wanna scold someone u tink for urself if uve done the same. when u emo i got do things like tht to u merh? hu r u to jz scold me like tht? think lar. how many times u acted without thinking? even if ure rong u try ur best to prove urself right. n den end up shouting at me. u think i enjoy it lar? den now.. worse.. shouting at me in front of so many people. for something tht happened which is nnot even something i should care.. ure da 1 tht asked me to go there rite?? so what am i supposed to do? stand there and let u shout at me? and when u jz shouted at me like tht, i shldnt walk off u say? WHY SHOULDNT I. I HAVE ALL THE RIGHTS IN THE WORLD TO WALK OFF. and everytime u shouted at me u dont even bother apologising. right now when u read this ure gonna curse me. well think again, did i ever shout at you for something tht u didnt do? and even if i did, if i realised i was wrong wouldnt i apologize? ALSO, i share my secrets with u cuz i trust u, since ure such a good friend. and what u did? u go tell other ppl lar. EXCUSE ME ITS A SECRET. what are u supposed to do with it? NOTHING, u keep it and then case closed. but NO, a person like you wouldnt jz keep it in, u cant control your speech, can you? well heres a piece of advice from me. If u STILL think i deserved whatever shouts u gave me, u can just stop talking to me. cuz theres no point in letting u shout at me almost every damn day of my life.
THINK BEFORE YOU SPEAK. i know im dumb, i cant giv proper advice, even when someone's in love and they want "advice". which they didnt even tell me how r they gonna use it. so what? u think that everyone is good at giving "advice"?? if u knew tht i was gonna burst out something bad, den dun bother looking for me lar!! i dunno y.. we were such close frns.. this year dono y i feel like its so hard to be your friend. maybe we all changed. it's time to move on i guess.
one day i'll look back at what we've done for each other and cherish it. thats it for now.
everything ends, nobody cares.
LAZY UPDATE LAR
cheeming forced me into this. look at wht he said -.- haiz, no respect for daigajie xDDD
kayy... so.. cant remember what happened.. err... wait arh..
K I GOT IT. so on thurs sketsa practice begins; have to stay back.. haiz, tuesday competition now oni start =p erm.. so nothing much happen lar.. my cass alot of ppl skip, cuz most of them in the kerjaya competition thing.. so very litle people lor inside de class.. i slept off in most of the classes oso.. physics is as usual "mengconfusingkan". then bio was ok lor.. chemistry, thursday dun hav so can go home early... so nice!! xD
den on friday i skipped bm n sej.. usual lar, nthg to do wan oso.. bt friday rumusan lerh, my fav T__________T so as usual i came back pretty late on friday. 3pm i think.. then walked home lor. when i reached home dono larh wat i did. 12 sthg oni slp.
den saturday.. my sis wake me up at 5am -.- tht gal.. haiz. den got my grandmother's birthay party.. i did prawn n peppers kebab!! they said "dam nice!!!" i tot it sucked, cuz i hate prawns -.- watched white chicks and the twilight zone at cous hse... i luv his tv room man T_______T. twilight zone. is. so. freaking. old. the ghost is like.. LOL man.. bt i got scared oso larh.. wakaka..
den today.. went church, dam sien coz rev koa preach LOL.
den got youth song practice~ sooo nice leh da song!!
o rejoice in da Lord; so nice song weyh.. so peacefull ^^
den youth time got debate.. topic is "christians ought not to go to cinema"
im opposing xDDDDD meaning i wanna go cinema. agree de 6 ppl oni =p
den after tht got kenelm's farewell.. gonna miss him? idk. i used to talk to him alot, dono y now less jor.. i caught him staring *fishy*
after tht Irene fetched me home.. i left my mum's stuff at the back of her car. Sigh my dad was scolding *sobs*.
thts all lor.
To infinity... and... beyond?
Underneath this smile, my world is slowly caving in~... like, one day after another i keep wasting more time. Sigh~ and i've been having this "series of unfortunate headaches" through school. I cant pay attention in any classes and i feel sleepy all the time. Okay, feeling sleepy all the time is probably common for me during class, but i usually sleep off for about 4 lessons... Now? i sleep off anytime, anywhere. I just thought life was going to be fine and dandy and nothing bad is going to happen to me in the future, but I guess I was wrong. It hit me when hema asked me what was my ambiion this morning. Come to think about it, i never really knew. Then hema said, "you're interested in journalism, right?" Whoa. This is one of the days where u think everyone is hitting jackpot at whatever you're thinking. And guess what? Hema did it again. She was like, journalism is what you want, right? i think you're perfect for it. You're like, our "did-you-know" box; you're so... i forgot what she said. It felt good, to hear someone talk about me. She said i just needed to master a few more languages because i already got the writing skills covered. But my problem was I don't think I'm really up to it for journalism. I don't think i even have a clear view of what it means. Maybe i'm gonna be a magazine editor or something. Whatever it is, I'm sure it's connected to the media. Then again, maybe I should get into showbiz. Not as an actress or anything, but maybe a screenwriter?? It's all up to God i guess. But for whatever it is that i wanna be, it wont work out without hardwork. ANd that's what I hate the most. I'm probably the laziest person in my family, but i really do believe that I can do anything as long as i set my mind to it. At least, i THINK i can. Anyway, I wanna grow up as someone successful, not a fat old housewife rotting away.
Now, in school nothing much happened probably because i slept off most of the schooling hours.
haha.. 2 weeks or so din blog.
So... what happened to my life lately? Luz.. alot lar.. hehe but i dun think wanna tell out here larh. today is sunday; came back frm church at 21.xx.. so early.. haha. yesterday din go BB.. miss them all man T_______T. anyway now got muscle pain.. 4 years din touch badminton racquet.. yesterday play abt 4hrs non stop.. haha. coz ytd youth outing, so went holiday villa for sports.. went asian cafe near taylors for lunch.. i tot lunch wld b dam nice.. when my lunch came the portion size fits for 3 meals man!!! haiz. so dam.. yuck. den after lunch started raining.. kay not raining, it was POURING. so cnt play captain ball in pool lorh.. the rain stopped abt 15mins later; bt i was sooo addicted to badminton i jz cont playig lor.. den when we entered the pool cannot play.. cuz the authorities dun let. and the water is like, 1.7 metres =.= i cldnt stand on the floor? so i had to cling on to the side like some monstourous freak clutching for his dear life. i know how to swim but i just prefer to stay "safe". coz me wat oso kia marh, too bad lor.. den after tht Irene fetched me n sis home. so tired when reach home.. ^^ den after dinner sthg happened larh. haha so happy xD aft tht fell asleep at about 12 gwa.. so tired leh. i still din do kerja amal and some other homework. which was su pposed to be handed in last week and two weeks ago. ah well; u dont have to go to school but u'd sure look cool. hahahahahaha i got tht quote frm a show.. sooooo ytd ws supposed to be my report card day; i didnt even bother to go.. my dad asked me "is it neccessary to go??" and i was like, "dont u wanna hear wht the teacher has to say about me??" n he was like, "i trust u". THAT IS THE LAMEST EXCUSE FOR NOT BEING THERE. ah well, as if i care. i got a few songs frm hj yesterday; disco party 3 rox man!! i missed band again, nxt week oso proably skipping.. sigh~ so sad larh- i like band.
...its emo season... ZzZz
Yeps, its emo season.. Like the name of the season says; im gonna be emo for the past few weeks. do not be surprised; its not cuz of the results lar, i got ok results so far.. but... like, i duno why.. i have this "thing". it's called boredom. it's sticking with me and poking at me at times when i have nothing to do. In this case, ALL the time. When the drama was over, and we didn't win, and people are starting to complain about my accomplished work.. so.. back to square one: nothing to do. all this while i've been complaining about being too tired and havng too much of work; now i'm craving for more. It's like, my life revolves around stuff to do- problems to solve and "drama". nothing much is happening to my life now, and... it's nothing much. Just another boring life. all alone. last time there's alot of stuff happening to me- there's always stories to share with my friends and family about.. i even had topics to talk to with teachers!!! now? "hi teacher". that's just it. what's the fun of school when there's no teachers for you to play with? arghh... ah well.. i guess there's nothing i can do about it now.. i just want work to do.. and more drama in my life.. not just another dull, scheduled, routine. ROUTINE. i can't believe i had to actually use that word now. *sobs*.
Results, results and more results
We got our results today.. thank God physics teacher went for a course, so i wont be getting any fails... yet. so i got BM marks.. wahh so happy; can get A2 wor.. hehe 70 lehs xDDD i oso din expect de.. cuz i din study komsas..manatau komsas full mark f3. den karangan... i wrote.. crap? n got high marks.. my frn wrote folo format n in order bla bla bla.. teacher go write terpesong =.=.. so i dunno my results real onot de. den... chem teache say i 1 more mark get A1.. wahh~ chem is like, my worse sub after physics man.. bt oso lar, this time exam teacher giv tips geh... so not tht tulen oso lar the markss =p den got modern maths... haiz, so sad.. 66 nia!! i told my dad.. n he was like, "c lar, u dono how to do.." f3 lar, i din show working an lose this much marks.. =[ den gt a few careles mistakes.. the q.. x+1 i go put x-1.. den calculate.. WALAO MAN. den got 1 q.. ans is -21/5.. i got put tht answer.. dono y.. at the bottom i go put =-5/6? sthg lidat.. haiz.. but.. don care lar.. din fail jiu enuf jor. ah well~ nobody can ruin this "up" mood of mine.. wait- lemme rephrase that.. nothing can ruin this "up" mood of mine.. ^^
7 days camp back-to-back!!
Kay, i went for church camp from monday till thursday..
Monday: woke up at 6 sthg.. dam early xia; coz my dad's car was... not around? so had to get church transport.. then before reaching we had breakfast; then rushed to church. Everything loaded to the bus, me and anzhi same bus.. hehe xD so i sat next to her. meizhi n cheryl oso dere.. chen ai n eunice in the kemaman ppl bus.. Lols i actually wanted to be on tht bus xD kay, when we reached we had lunch.. so first day mah, eat with family lor.. den after briefing got free time.. at abt 5 i went to anzhi's room lor, play till dono when. 6.30 dinner den sermon.. den discussion.. today i sardius =p sister Linda lead us lar, all youths lei geh, de group. then 1st nite i jz went str8 back to room and slept lor..
Tuesday: woke up at 7 to prepare for morning devotion.. felt lile dying, couldnt really wake up.. den got sermon n discussion again.. today my group topaz.. uncle raymond lead xDDDD i tot gonna b fun gerh, but tht group all quiet youths, so i didnt bother lor.. after lunch photo session!! xD me, chen ai, anzhi, meizhi, cheryl and the rest all posing.. but dam big group sia, not tht syi0k lor.. after tht... family quiz.. zzz dam boring.. my dad sneaked out =p =p after like, 10 minutes all youth one by one go out.. hahas den go swimming.. we play captain ball! the eugene wan join us de, with the kemaman ppl.. but then wan play badminton. den after playing a while it rained. we cont playing xDDD tht eugene tot raining evrone went bak xia.. so 2nd day oso bo join with them lorr zzz. after tht dinner, everyone like talking bout the free time.. and the "secret meeting" tonite.. in 255.. 255 is chen ai, eunice and mei foong's group.. so i told my dad we gonna fellowship tonite lor.. the pastor kinda panjangkan the masa jors. so we bout 11 sthg oni go 255 lor.. den play murderer till like, 1.30... dad call me scold me -gulp- all youths dam scared my dad xia.. x.X after tht i went bak room.. gt abt lectire, i tot i was gona die.. but he took it light lar.. haiz, tmrw deadline for annual camp n today i went "overboard".. habis lah chance nak pergi..
Wednesday: morning morning ady my dad complainin to all the elders say the youth play till dam late.. so all the elders dam em song youth.. mei foon got scolding frm aunty kathrine lerhs.. =[ aft dat gt sermon.. as usual.. bla bla.. den in between i asked my dad can go camp onot.. den he was like, haiyar, u rly wanna go so badly ar.. den i was like, yea.. den he was like, k lar.. wahh I WAS IN DA SKIES MAN. t my hp battery died tht time.. den meizhi de fon hilang.. haiz, nokia dam baru model lerhs. so i used anzhi's fon xDDD coz sms till crazy dy.. den free time play captain ball again lorr.. so free time always sped in pool.. din even check out the bowling alley.. got 8 lanes nia.. 2 spoil jor geh. den at nite.. me, chen ai, meizhi n anzhi go help meizhi search for her fon lorr.. i was smsing while searching lar.. den after tht go report.. den go 255.. kenneth begged my dad so he let till 1am lor.. play murderer again.. xD my dad even bought the sparkling juice for us nerh xDDDD but not enuf time so din drink.. x.X i hav to carry 3 bottles of sparkling juice n 2 bags of plastic cups back to my end-of-the-world room lehs.. 297!! craZy xia.. last room in the floor man. so vincent n jack help me carry those bak lor.. after say goodnite i go bak to room lor.. still usin anzhi's fon to sms ><>
Thursday: den i charge fon at the the the sermon hall.. den check out.. we check out earlier thn scheduled.. so gt 2 hrs spare time.. after lunch go bowling alley with the kemamanians lor.. c c play till kana scold... agaiin. Lols. bvut dad wasnt tht angry larr... phew, thank God. den in bus.. smsing lar till tiba church.. din take pic with the new frns lerh, no time T____T den i had to go hoe early oso.. miss the chance T___T k den after tht we all go dinner. eating out again.. wanna puke larh. when i reach home its abt 9 jor.. so take bath evrythin.. den pack for the annual camp.. chat on msn.. abt 11 i slp jor luu... coz in da camp evryday i slp abt 5 hrs nia.. den gt so many activities sumore wor.. den tmrw got annual camp.. wahh i scared tak boleh tahan..
Friday: Annual camp luu.. im group leader.. hehe my group got 4 juniors n 7 seniors ncluding me.. at 1st jes is my group de.. den chg to soo lee jors.. dam em song him xia.. always oso say we gonna lose =.= den sumore always complain.. im gonna get crazy man.. sumore gt this junior.. kah fei? dam active; quite naughty lar on first day.. tak boleh tahan @.@ so.. gt flying fox n water rafting.. water rafting our raft din break arh!! but i fell to the lake T___________T the lake dam dam dam gross u noe!! got all sorts of shit inside.. YUCKNESS.. den staff sgt tumpang my raft marh... hehe she keep yelling instructions ask me climb up the raft i keep panicking n shouting till evryone oso fed up.. Lols.. rly dam scary marh!! so gross sumore!! den after tht flying fox.. me n staff sgt last seniors to go.. coz i grp 5 ldr. nid go last.. walao when i got up dere i wanted to jz giv up n climb bak down.. but guess what, im more scard of climbing down than gliding down xP dam adm narrow weyh the staircase. when got up ther.. the platform shaking,.. i dono y.. its coz of staff sgt de leg!! trembling like... walao.. Lols. i c all do no shout gerh.. cm, ch n ric sumore striking pose.. i all the way go down screaming like dono wat.. hahahahaha.. den when reach ther.. my hand n feet.. k my whole body shaking... joseph asked me questions... bt i dun undst wat he saying.. scaered till cnt ans anythin.. wanted to cry.. then tht leong kah fei, my junior lar, go say "yerrr my sqd ldr scared of heights and water de oh!!1 yeeeeeee!!!" wahlao all my fear turned to ego.. Lols.. nid jaga muka.. come down jz cheer for staff sgt.. hehe. den go take bath time.. i din take bath. coz no water.. dam swt man this camp =.= im filled with mudshyt and dencnt take bath.. me n flee chg nia, wanted to bathe tonite so i go put alot of powder n chged new clothes.. hehe. after tht pastor gt sharing.. i dam slpy dat time.. forgot did wat jors. den go tent time luuu.. go sp.. sthg told me the tent gonna roboh tonite. coz i tent ldr marh. xP.. den i sms lor at nite.. sms til.. 12.30? den fell asleep.. sudd i hear rainwater.. sum1 zip my tent for me.. sweet ><. den after tht.. sud sum1 woke me up.. tht time 1 sthg nia.. when i opened my eyes flee was on top of me, holding the stic. coz falling jor.. haha. den all go to the base shelter lor... my tent de junior all so cute >< use ="p" slp ="p">
Saturday: dam dat fon... dono hus 1.. alarm stupid dao. me n flee dono how to stop the alarm. dam noisy xia.. tht time 5 sthg? i dun even noe wat time. den after tht i slept again.. til 7 oni wake up.. dam cold man when i woke up. den took toothbrush. brush teeth.. da te4nt banjir jor.. gone lar my clothes. den got obstacle race.. the monkey cage. my sqd got 3 gals.. 2 jr 1 sr.. all cnt reach de pole gerh. so i hav to carry them lar, since im da only gal left =.= yin yee i carry her no feel.. hahas. den huey tian.. quite heavy xia.. so waste abit energy.. den last 1 samantha.. she quite plump lar, sumore last to carry.. so i carry til wanna die... den de guys go lor.. guy junior all daniel ng carry or sthg. den.. so many things happen larh. obstacle race we 16 minute sthg.. dun care larh =p. den afer tht got chg clothes.. den gt lunch.. den sketch practice. i luv my group xD. den go amazing games.. for tht 1 i in cm de station rly waste dam many energy.. hav to carry tht plank while the juniors walk on it.. me n samson carry nia.. coz soo lee hand "injured".. say i first aid cha. nxt time dun find me. den.. our sqd 3rd to giv flag, but 2nd highest group points.. den got bathe time.. walao i bathing time sudd the hole gt frog.. the tw eyes popping out... floating blobbing ther. dam dam dam gross.. ugh. after tht dinner.. after dinner mafia.. walao dam tiring day... sumore i slp abt 2 hrs nia.. so cham. den after tht i slp early.. bt every 2 hrs wake up.. cover my leg.. cover my body... cuz i slp with jacket nia.. slping bad share with junior.. bbq i ask so man ppl do the chicken for me.. but all giv junior. dun care larh. k den rest liao.
Sunday: got captain ball. argh. im soo tired. mmuscle dam dam pain sumore.. i didnt wanna play... in the end we lost.. u cares. ytd i carry a box of 12x1.5litre water.. so dam heavy.. den do 50 push ups sumore.. sot. den go bus.. din sit.. coz no more place to sit. so standing at the front dere.. actually got de richard lar.. take my seat.. shuen lor. stand more yeng anyway. reach home go online tok to sum1.. xD dam hepi.. den slp quite early.. 11pm lerh. coz sooooooooooo tired.. @.@
Monday: go drama.. end early.. den online whole day.. finally a break.
there xD